Monday Motivation | F*ck Your Comfort Zone

YUP, I said it.

FUCK your comfort zone. Girl, it does not deserve to exist. Obliterate that motherfucker. Like, right this moment!

WHY?

All throughout your life, it’s always been that one thing that stands between who you are and who you yearn to become. Who you’re destined to be. Every time an opportunity makes itself known and dares you to step out into unfamiliar territory, to do something that would fulfill your mind, body, and soul, it’s been the invisible hand that squeezes the back of your neck like an abusive boyfriend and pulls you back at the very last moment.

The kind of power the “comfort zone” holds over us is so massive and overbearing, it could sometimes feel like you’re “doing the right thing”. Your comfort zone is like your ego, telling you to stay in a verbally abusive relationship because you want to prove to the world and ya friends that everything is “okay” and “perfect”. But deep down inside, there’s another voice, a much softer one, urging you to stretch your wings. But, we don’t even realize that this comfort zone is stopping us from trying out for something we want, sometimes something we need but out of fear we don’t pursue it…level with me for a moment:

Out of all the memorable and life-changing happenings in my life that have shaped who I am today, what happened on July 30th of this year seemed the most impactful. It was the day I had told myself I needed to pursue my dreams with reckless abandon–meaning, to just go the fuck for it without fearing the future and the “WHAT IF’S” that plagued my mind daily.

Although I’d always wanted to become a full-time author and be able to support myself  through the fruits of my labor by fully committing to my first love (penning made up stories), at that current moment in time, that lifestyle  seemed far out of reach because obviously, I was making more money at my job and was content with that. I had it in my mind that I was going to continue to work for a bit, save up, and then, hopefully, transition into a full-time author/entrepreneur.

So, I wrote on a sticky note: financial security is an illusion as long as someone else is cutting your paycheck and stuck it on the back of my front door as a constant reminder to one day get my shit together so I wouldn’t have to rely on a job. To be quite honest, I’d always hated the idea of someone else being in charge of what I would make in a year because ultimately, that was up to me.

Moving forward though…what happened on the next day, July 31st, I could have never imagined…

I received a call. From my boss. But, before I dive into why that call changed my life, let me give you a little background of what I did at my job (because it is important). As a journalist who worked for a newspaper company, I had the freedom of working from the comforts of my home. I didn’t have to sit in a cubicle, nor did I have to wake up early in the morning to battle Houston traffic to get to my job. The only time I had to step foot outside, was if I had to go grocery shopping or attend an event for the article I was currently writing, typically press conferences, luncheons, meetings, and the likes. And usually, I’d dress casual/comfy…but still presentable.

At these events, I would interview “important” folks for my stories, snap a couple of photos here and there w/my camera, and then skedaddle. I was in and out faster than McDonald’s drive-through. Always.

The introvert in me could only bear being around folks–although kind-hearted and genuine–for only so long before I needed to recharge my mental batteries.

Anyway, once I was safely home, I would take my place at my desk and begin to write my story for publication. I did this every time. It was easy money. This job afforded me enough time to not only cater to my responsibilities as a reporter but also the ability to deliciously indulge in my side gig: writing steamy romance novels. In truth, I felt like Carrie from Sex and the City.

To put it plainly, I was comfortable. Too comfortable. This was my mistake…my undoing.

So, when this call came from my boss explaining that the company was “downsizing” and “restructuring” my whole lovey dovey cozy world came crashing down in a millisecond and I realized that I’d have to get my shit together…and sooner than I’d wanted.

While I was momentarily shook, had multiple mental breakdowns to the point that I had to take a break and travel across the state of Texas to find solitude because I was worried about my future and of course, my financial stability, I thought back to that sticky note I wrote less than 24 hours before (see how God/the universe works) and it was then I realized that this was my wakeup call.

My moment to stop putting shit off until the “right time” or when I had more money.

My moment to get my life together and start doing shit when I wanted to and not when I had my “ducks in a row”. My moment to go TF hard for my writing career to ensure that I would never have to worry about if I’d be able to pay my bills and take care of myself again.

My moment to stop being afraid, clinging onto a job that stunted my growth, left me stagnant, and my spirit empty.

My moment to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and learn to find courage and confidence in uncertainty (walking by faith and not by sight).

My moment to make a commitment to my future and who I dreamed/am destined to be in life.

My moment to give myself permission to acknowledge who the “F” I was and not to underestimate myself.

My moment to give myself permission to live a BIG life and to stop playing small because it is in my divine right to have greater things.

Once I made the decision that I wasn’t going to be sad about losing my job anymore and to look for the “silver lining”…was the moment my life began to feel better, less suffocating, and fall into place.

 

I buried myself into my writing, deleted and restarted my blog about self-love, sex, dating, and all the shit I love talking about, learned new trades that’ll benefit my future as an author (how to design a website, format a book, and create a book cover), forgave the people who wronged me knowingly and unknowingly, deleted all fuckboys out of my life, decided to eat cleaner (I haven’t touched pork or beef in months) and slowly transition into pescatarian life (I can’t let go of crab legs and sushi *inserts whining emoji face*) and bought wacky looking pink prescription glasses that I would’ve never worn before (I swore all my life that I hated pink and yet somehow it has become my BRAND color lmao) to change up my look (I feel creative AF when wearing them).

What I’m ultimately saying is, being comfortable is the devil. Nothing good comes from a routine-like life, especially when you have DREAMS you want to pursue. Waiting around for this “moment” or for when your ducks are in a row is bullshit. It’s not helping you to get “ready” or “prepared” for your dreams–it’s holding YOU back.

The people we follow on our social media (hopefully go-getters and folks with like minds that you admire) who have achieved their goals in life and are successful in what they do, had gone through situations where they’ve risked themselves to get out of their comfort zone. Because you cannot change your circumstance by doing the same things, you have to think and act outside your normal routine in order to achieve a different result.

When you step out of your comfort zone, you will face challenges you could never have anticipated. But I’ll bet you will allow nothing to stop you. You will shock yourself at your ability to plow through any situation.

You will feel excited and energized by the life you are choosing to live. You will feel proud of what you are doing. And you will like yourself more for it.

As you realize your own potential, you’ll also acknowledge that the pursuit of a dream requires an act of faith. You step forward and take action. When you do this, you will face experiences that will bring you closer to the force of the universe. Closer to you seeing your dreams being brought to life.

So, I DARE you today to get on your “Being Mary Jane” ish, write on a sticky note: “FUCK MY COMFORT ZONE!” and stick it somewhere where you’ll constantly see it and say to yourself from here on out that “I got this!”

You’re just seconds away from choosing happy.

#DreamItWorkHardGrindTillYouOWNIt!

Jasemine Knowles